(no subject)

Im never hear anymore. Not much to say. ups and downs in life. Moving far far away, maybe. not telling anyone where. can only go back 100 entry on your friends page? you guys post to much...

I stole this book, that has been last singed in 1937, "a history of experimental psychology". Opening my mind.

I dont need this physical body anymore.

(no subject)

I beat the shit of inanimate object every chance i get. my knuckles are swollen, my ego is nil, as i am sore. Physical pain is better than emotional. as destructive as it is, it helps. Burn those calories, loose that weight, keep telling yourself that will make you feel better.

What am i supposed to think? Please tell me.

(no subject)

Traveled 34 hours
met some cool people
did some cool stuff
Got broken up with
Still here, gets a little awkward sometimes haha
still pretty cool being somewhere new.
Shes cooking me food right now, even though im not really hungry

I just dont know whats next. you know?


(no subject)

I never use this.

I hate everything, blah blah. you know, the usual.

Relationships suck, especially when you're beautiful girlfriend is 30 hours away.

Same stupid boring life. Even the exciting parts seem dull in retrospect.

Heres to drowning my sorrows!

(no subject)

In all honestly, I dont know how i got a cool girlfriend. I wasn't expecting this. I feel so retarded saying love so early. Shit is weird.

Anyways, whats up guys?

(no subject)

So moths have to be one of my favorite animals. Tonight a polyphemus moth landed on my house. It's be biggest moth in north America. He's nearing the end of his life. He only lived up to 5 days in this state because he doesn't eat. Im more than happy that he decided to come spend it with me. Im going to go hang out with him some more. I've named him Indrid.

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(no subject)

I love watching shows about our universe and such. This astrophysicist was talking about how everything is made up of the same stuff. About how the smallest parts of us, exploded out of a star. About how we aren't in the universe, we are the universe.

There is something going on we just can not comprehend yet. When we are able to, our state of mind will be prefect. No war, no hate, no sadness. Just complete understanding of everything.

This sleep aid feels mind expanding, haha. Now i understand why peyote was used for introspection.


I lay in bed, and as this sleep aid kicks in i cant help but to think. think about my future, others futures, humanity's future. i dont know what i really want. well, i know what i'd like, but thats not really feasible. dreams are dreams for a reason. reality seems less and less real. my perception on life, love, fun, happiness are all changing. some are subtle, some arent. i dont know where im going, but i like that in a morbid sort of way.

My mind wonders, and it always turns horrible. i become the type of person i hate. no one knows that part of me, i wont let it be seen. this is a good thing. self control is something that this world lacks. humanity has to become less human to survive. there is no hope.

We are all hopeless, just as i am personally.

i dont mean to sound like a bummer. i just like to realize i am not alone. we're all just as fucked. might as well live it how ever you want.

Goodnight, and i love you all.