June 15th, 2009

6/15/2009

I lay in bed, and as this sleep aid kicks in i cant help but to think. think about my future, others futures, humanity's future. i dont know what i really want. well, i know what i'd like, but thats not really feasible. dreams are dreams for a reason. reality seems less and less real. my perception on life, love, fun, happiness are all changing. some are subtle, some arent. i dont know where im going, but i like that in a morbid sort of way.

My mind wonders, and it always turns horrible. i become the type of person i hate. no one knows that part of me, i wont let it be seen. this is a good thing. self control is something that this world lacks. humanity has to become less human to survive. there is no hope.

We are all hopeless, just as i am personally.

i dont mean to sound like a bummer. i just like to realize i am not alone. we're all just as fucked. might as well live it how ever you want.

Goodnight, and i love you all.